Poison

Alice Cooper...
Better out than in!
Slowly...my body is healing and I am not in the right place. Well, how can I judge, I guess there is no wrong place, its just not neccessarily pleasant or supportive. I got sick the day my mum returned and my dad is a whole story by itself that doesnt need to be told. and i am learning more day by day. Something very special happens more and more often. I am working hard to be aware of whats happening in every situation thats painful or when anger and old fear gets triggered and even though it doesnt always work on the spot, its getting better every day. No, not easy, but for this process, well, the best place to be.
And another part of me wants to reach out and touch and live, i have rarely felt such a desire to live fully, step out, Love, love, love, connect, searching for human contact, to be soft, give in, surrender.
There is a feeling inside of something coming my way, exciting and frustrating...because it isnt happening yet..
I feel as if i was bursting with life and i cant get the connection to the outside world, i dont see it reflected in the material world yet. Working on it, doing my best to find out why not and letting it go... work in progress.
A very new experience for me that makes me feel a bit trapped up here. The future is still wide, wide open and I miss australia, the warmth of nature and people, aware people, the ocean, the ocean, the ocean and the dance!
I saved myself and got another ipod, starting up new and getting my music back...now this is healing!