Song after song...

...am i getting my music back..on the computer...and the new ipod...getting life back.
And still...longing, longing, longing. feeling so lonely and cold and empty, missing human connactions and warmth. I want to let go and be free, but this is not a safe place to do it... struggling and eating so i dont feel, which is not a solution but only more pain.
I feel that life wants me to move on, keep rocking until this rolling stone finds its resting place. Looking inside, i am so full and overflowing, but looking outside i am not finding it mirrored in my life, not living it, or am i just blind? There is so much inside...please, help me live it! I am doing my best, there is so much trust that all will be fine, as it has always been and still there is fear that i wont make it, that i will miss it, maybe not stand up when i should...trust, breathe and trust again. wouldnt it be possible to know life before it happens? Right, how boring!
I must admit, i have the most amazing friends here, wishing pia alll the best in the hospital...thanking all of you for beeing!
Prayer...
praying for support and love, for touch and warmth and connection, for a place to live life fully, put all my energy to good use, a place and people to be safe and stable and rested inside...and love, love, love, touch and sex and juice...