My world stays fluid. My intuition drives me, urges me to keep moving, to pack my bags and spread my wings again and let go of control...
There is no way i can or want to stay here in Oldenburg. Hard, because there are beautiful friends around and i wished i could rest for a while, but not now. Its is not perfect to stay with my mother and there is no point in searching for work if i am not going to stay and i miss my work, want to use my energy and open new doors. I want to touch again and i would love to learn more, would love to get more trainings in the field of constellation work/ psychotherapy/ dance (not to mention the path of love!) and well, that wont happen here. I dearly miss the ocean and a friend invited me to come and visit on his boat in the mediterranean but thats not the way to go either right now. Something is calling and i want to follow this calling without knowing what it is.
Germany...havent seen much of it and maybe its time to do it now, Colone, Berlin, the South and other european countries. Would love to find some work, would love to meet inspiring people and learn... and then... going back to Byron for another season, but thats far away and there are so many possibilities that such plans seem to be unneccessary, just ideas of beautiful sunsets on a far away horizon (did i mention hawaii??? Havent been there far too long!). Still playing with the idea of Esalen in november but hey, that will need some monetary magic to happen...
But then, looking at all this. Whats the point if i loose my heart in whatever i do? The real focus will and shall always be, whats getting me deeper into my heart, whats challenging my boundaries, what will set me free and where can i follow and free my fears?
I havent really let go and jumped on my own for a while and i dont even know if thats a good thing to do, but it´s time to do so and the rest will come. Trust.
Maybe futile. Maybe the only way to go.
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